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my room's picture collage!
our group!
gwen's group.
afiqah's.
jessica's group.
months and more months. it took me this long to realise that i'm not for commitment. you can't even be the last. everything had been a mistake, i made a mistake. a mistake i cannot bear to correct, to let go. sigh. i'm sorry. sorry for all the times i've been so mean on purpose, ignoring you when i feel like it, pushing you away when i want to. now, i do not know what i want out of you, out of us. or whether there would be an ending to this. and perhaps, both of us barely care enough to think hard, real hard about whats going on. i'm tired, too tired to even decide. not that i was ever decisive. on the other hand, we all know, i'm afraid, afraid to lose you, afraid to be alone. i guess thats all that left for me to hold on, to pick up the missing pieces, and build it up again.
dear God, teach me to be decisive, to do whats right, to believe in myself and know that i'm in you, i'm wonderfully made, and give me the strength to let go when i'm supposed to. i trust, in You.
3:58 AM
upon life's envious stage.
